Just Fun World

Funny Pictures: Stupid Husbands

admin — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 13:49:29 +0000

Check out the stupid husbands and funny stuffs they are doing around their wives. You must check this or else….

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Retirement Bonus (Joke)

admin — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 09:17:59 +0000

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general’s body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man … “From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles.”
The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he’d better get the medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop the pants. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general’s penis and began to work back. “My God!” he said. “Where are your testicles?”
The general replied, “In Vietnam.”

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What Was That

admin — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:56:22 +0000

Superman is flying around one day and he’s feeling kinda horny. So he finds Batman sitting on top of a building and drops down to ask him where the best place to get laid is. Batman proceeds to tell him that Wonder Woman is a great lay. Superman then tells him that he couldn’t do that to her because they have been friends for too long and he flies away. Superman then sees Spider-man swinging around and flies next to him while he’s swinging and asks him who the best piece of ass is. Spider-man tells him that he hears Wonder Woman is good and tells him to look her up. Disgruntled Superman takes to the air and flies about. He then notices Wonder Woman lying in a field naked and spread Eagle. He thinks I’m faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of that so fast she’ll never know what hit her. So, he flies down does his business and id 4 seconds he’s back in the air flying away. Wonder Woman looks up and says “What was that?” Invisible Man says: “I don’t know but my ass hurts!”

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The World’s Smartest Man Just Jumped Out Wearing My Backpack

admin — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 08:33:31 +0000

One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.

“Gentlemen,” he began, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we’re about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!” With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.

Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I am the world’s greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world’s greatest athlete should have a parachute!” With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

Bill Gates rose and said, “Gentlemen, I am the world’s smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world’s smartest man should have a parachute, too.” He grabbed one, and out he jumped. The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. “My son,” he said, “I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane.”

The hippie smiled slowly and said, “Hey, don’t worry, pop. The world’s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack.”

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The Fastest Thing

admin — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 08:33:28 +0000

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them one question and their answer would determine who would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know of?” pointing to the man on his right.

The first man replied, “A thought. It pops into your head. There’s no forewarning that it’s on the way, it’s just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of.”

“That’s very good!” replied the interviewer. “And now you sir?” He asked the second man.

“Hmm….let me see, A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of.”

“Excellent!” said the interviewer. “The blink of an eye. That’s a very popular cliché for speed.”

Then he turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. “Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch, when you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light at the barn comes on in an instant. Turning a light is the fastest thing I can think of.”

The interviewer was very impressed with The third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light.” he said. Turning to the fourth man, he posed the same question.

“After hearing the three previous answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is diarrhea.”

“WHAT!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

“Oh I can explain.” said the fourth man. “You see the other day I wasn’t feeling so well and ran for the bathroom. But, before I could think, blink or turn on the light, I’d shit my pants!”

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Somewhere Above New Jersey

admin — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 08:33:25 +0000

The hippie smiled slowly and said, “Hey, don’t worry, pop. The world’s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack.”

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Simple Logic – A Lawyer Defending A Man…

admin — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 08:33:22 +0000

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” “Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.”

The defendant smiled,
With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

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In The Depths Of Louisiana

admin — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 08:33:19 +0000

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!” The shopkeeper said, “By all means, be my guest. Maybe you’ll luck out and catch yourself a big one!” Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either!”

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I Want To Speak To My Lawyer

admin — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 08:46:01 +0000

A guy phones a law office and says: “I want to speak to my lawyer.” The receptionist replies, “I’m sorry but he died last week. “The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, “I told you yesterday, he died last week. “The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer.By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, “I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling? ” The guy says, “Because I just love hearing you say that.”

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I Told Her That First Class Wasn’t Going To L.A.

admin — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 08:33:08 +0000

A beautiful blonde lady stepped onto a plane going to L.A. and sat down in first class. The flight attendant proceeded to go around the airplane checking the ticket stubs of each passenger to make sure they were all in the right seats. When she got to the Blonde woman she noticed that it was for Coach seating, not first class. She tells the woman, “You’re ticket says coach maam and we have a full flight today. I’m going to have to ask you to move.” To which the blonde replies, “You don’t understand, I’m blonde, beautiful, I’m going to L.A. and I’m getting there in first class.” Confused, the stewardess gets her supervisor. Again, she tells the woman that she must move. Again, the blonde replies, “You don’t understand, I’m blonde, beautiful, I’m going to L.A. and I’m getting there in first class.” Also confused, they go get the captain. He tells the woman that she must move. The blonde starts to say, “You don’t understand, I’m blonde, beautiful…” when he interrupts and asks, “Can I whisper something in your ear?” “Sure” she replies and he proceeds to whisper something in her ear. Suddenly she gets up and goes back to coach seating with a look of surprise on her face. The flight attendants are startled. “How did you get her to move?” “I told her that first class wasn’t going to L.A.”

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